It’s 9:48 pm…

vegjune14-2018

…on a Wednesday night. About an hour or so past my bedtime. But an hour or so ago I was eating supper, last night’s leftovers, cobbled together after getting the animals to bed and re-visiting the garden for an impromptu salad. Which happened after 5 hours of planting and weeding. Which happened after market. Which started after getting up at 4:15 this morning to prep. I still barely got things ready for market in time.

vegjune14-2018Tomorrow is CSA day. Harvest and wash all day, pack bags, deliver. Up at dawn again, home by 7:30 pm, give or take. Supper. Yeah, something… whatever, is there wine? Send out the CSA newsletter. Friday is less busy. The turkeys arrive, I have to make soap. Our poultry tractors need work. Maybe I should build another one. Fuck it. Maybe I can wire together the holes in the netting. Clean the house for Saturday guests, get ready for Saturday market. Hope to make a few bucks. Hope to survive. Yo Noodle Guy, pump my veins full of the life-giving Breakfast Thing.

As July rings in so do WWOOFers and visitors. The WWOOFer camper renos aren’t finished yet. The house… will it get clean? I can’t see the kitchen… where is the kitchen? I smell dead rodents. Maybe I should shower. Which goats am I milking tonight? Who am I? Supper. Yeah, fuck it. Omelette or KFC? Fuck it… moldy cheese and Wasa crackers for the win.

Hay. We’ll be starting any day now. While we have visitors. Fuck. Did I plant those sweet potatoes yet? I can’t see the lettuce for the weeds. The goats are out and closing in on the herb garden. Fuck. Will crying help? Probably not. Get me a fucking shovel. And wine. And a bucket of feed. The goats like feed. Right?

Oh shit. I didn’t finish weeding that carrot bed.

If I seem distant, aloof, pissed off, frazzled, incoherent, unsociable I apologize. I thought things would be easier this year, but they are not. The horses are not getting ridden, the bike rides are not happening either. The soap is barely getting made. Summer is upon us and work is on my back like the world on the shoulders of Atlas. Success weighs a fucking ton. I am proud, I am happy, I am stoked that things are going so fucking well. I am exhausted. I am swearing a lot.

Something has to give soon. Stay tuned. Shit is about to get real!

Rant over. Sipping a Spanish red and checking out. Way past my bedtime, but who sleeps?

Tomorrow comes quickly.

Beware.

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “It’s 9:48 pm…

  1. Ugh…. the early summer days of hell! You are amazing in your patience, mental fortitude and physical endurance! I’ve met only a handful of women who have grabbed onto their dreams with as much determination as you have. And while flowery words does not an easy day make; I hope you know how inspiring you are in everyway. I will hope for more moments of peace come your way (as days likely won’t) and prosperity follows them.

    1. Thank you Jaime. This is the insanity I signed up for… I just thought it would get easier with time, but apparently my personality doesn’t allow for easy. If you’re of similar insanity, beware!

    2. I feel that a certain level of insanity is in my future, what with being married to Devin and all… many thanks on the words of caution!

    1. You are a crazy man, Devin. No good could EVER come of that. Hope those little goaties are treating you well!

  2. Despite the endless list, you continue to move on to the ‘next thing’ on it, AND maintain a sense of humour. How wild is that? You never cease to amaze and inspire. ??

    1. Aw, thanks Gwen. I don’t think I’m amazing, though by any stretch. Humour is the Newfie way of survival, and honestly, if I stop for a minute and let the list get the better of me I’ll probably explode. It’s just a matter of constantly putting two feet in front of the other and praying that I don’t trip.

  3. My grand daughter reads your posts. She and her Dad are building a chicken coop because she’s got the bug. She (and the rest of the world) are in awe of your determination and the reality of how much to do there is. But she’s not getting scared off. She, too, finds you inspiring. You are showing the way for the next generation of people who care about these things. Thank you for giving her a realistic look at the daily nitty gritty. But she has determination and is not afraid of hard work. It means so much to me that she has someone like you to look up to. Children are our hope of a better tomorrow for this beautiful, fragile world.

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